Motivation & the reward trap

Encouraging Growth: Praising Effort in School

During middle childhood, children often compare themselves to peers. This is when they might develop a "fixed mindset" or a "growth mindset," influencing their beliefs about learning and ability. Praising effort can nurture a growth mindset, helping them embrace challenges.

Imagine the first time your child looks around their classroom, eyes wide with the wonder of new friendships and challenges. During these middle childhood years (ages 6–11), they begin comparing themselves with peers, often shaping their beliefs about their abilities. It's here that the seeds of a "fixed mindset" ("I'm just not good at math") or a "growth mindset" ("I can learn math with practice") are sown.

The Fixed vs. Growth Mindset

Psychologist Carol Dweck's research offers insights into these mindsets:

• Fixed Mindset: Intelligence and talent are seen as static, like a painting finished and framed. In this view, failure reflects a lack of inherent ability.
• Growth Mindset: Intelligence and talent are viewed as evolving, akin to a garden that flourishes with care and effort. Here, failure is merely a stepping stone to learning.

The Power of "Not Yet"

When your child says, "I can't do this," imagine adding the word "yet." This simple addition transforms a moment of doubt into a horizon of possibilities, acknowledging their current struggle while opening the door to future success.

How to Praise for a Growth Mindset

Instead of saying: "You're so smart!" try: "I love how you tried several different ways to solve that problem until you found one that worked." By focusing on the process (effort, strategy, focus) rather than the person (intelligence, talent), you inspire your child to persevere when faced with challenges.

What You Can Do Today

• Encourage your child to view challenges as opportunities to learn.
• Add "yet" to statements of doubt to foster a sense of possibility.
• Praise their effort and strategies, not just their innate abilities.
• Share stories of perseverance and growth from your own life.

A Final Thought

Nurturing a growth mindset in your child can open up a world of possibilities. By focusing on effort and strategies, you help them see intelligence as something that can grow and evolve, setting them up for lifelong learning.